I have been discovering that the more I trust myself, the more I can trust those around me. In the past I distrusted my ability to correctly identify people who were not only safe to be with, but were also available and willing to explore what it felt like to be human alongside me. I thought my ‘picker’ was broken. Therefore, with the exception of a few old friends I talked to very rarely, I did not have any close friends and did not feel that I ‘belonged’ anywhere.
Once I learned Body Tracking from Sophia and consistently practiced it, the kinds of people I was drawn to spend time with evolved with me. I remember Sophia telling me that eventually it would be impossible for me to be drawn to spend time with the kind of people who hurt me in the past. I did not believe her. Now, the evidence all around me proves that my ‘picker’ is in excellent working order. The humans I get to spend time with on a regular basis are so incredible that I feel lucky every moment I am with them.
From the fall of 2018 to the fall of 2019 everything in my experience, and especially my feeling of belonging, radically changed. I kept my memories in the form of voice recordings and am so thankful I did. Not only can I now re-experience this transformative year through my recordings, but also it helps me recognize how hugely epic the change has actually been.
In this video I talk about a wide range of topics that were on my mind back then, as well as now:
- naked yoga
- the evolution of me
- near death experiences – there have been a surprising/distressing number of them
- “I walked into the darkness alone, I can walk into the light with loved ones”
- excitement over starting to make friends
- I needed a chaperone in 2016 if I went to the grocery store so I could tolerate the experience
- I can now twirl around a friend’s body as if it were a pole
- the difference between what I considered connection then and what it looks like for me now (it includes regular ecstatic dance, snuggles and connection with amazing friends as well as a freaking fantastic and super sexy lover)
The most amazing part? I know that there are yet more levels available where I get to continue deepening my experience of belonging in this community. I honestly didn’t know what was possible until Sophia shared what could be added to the ever expanding menu of options.
Now I am honing my constantly improving skill level at becoming aware of the possibilities that were previously undetectable as well as opening myself to experiences I would never have participated in a year ago.
Do you trust yourself to choose the kinds of people who uplift and nourish you just from their presence? Comment below and let me know!
I love you fiercely.
p.s. Would you like to feel a deeper, clearer sense of belonging this holiday season? Let’s talk. Schedule a time for a free 1:1 zoom call with me. I dedicate 30-50 minutes just to you. Perhaps you want to be close to people but you don’t know how anymore. Once I shine a light on your blocks, you can choose to let it go and feel freer, more joyful and allow yourself to receive pleasure.