I’ll keep this short and sweet (slightly bitter) and hopefully add a sprinkle of lightness as you think about this Jeff Foxworthy-style list. Radical Pleasurist is about shifting folks from pleaser to pleasure, so it’s time for a tutorial on what it looks like to be one. There is never any judgment and we don’t think in terms of right or wrong. We’re about choosing pleasure as a way of being so ask yourself one simple question as you read the TOP 10 LIST below: is being a pleaser bringing me pleasure? 

Can I choose differently and survive and, dare I say it, thrive?

Here we go…

You might be a pleaser if…

     

  1. You keep your opinions, desires, needs, and politically incorrect jokes to yourself.
     
  2. You don’t know how you like your eggs and eat them however your lover, spouse, best friend, or boss eats them. (yes, this is from Runaway Bride, a classic Richard Gere/Julia Roberts ensemble)
     
  3. Got validation? Yes, you need plenty of that all the time. Keep it coming. You are not a worthy human being without others validating you. Oh, and you never validate yourself.

    • You are plenty good at being mean to yourself because that’s motivating.

  4. Emotions? What emotions? Does gassy count as an emotion?

    • Or you find yourself saying I don’t care, I’m cool with whatever, I don’t ever feel angry, I’m fine, I’m good and you break things or drink too much (that’s not just me, right?)

  5.  

  6. You sleep cold because you won’t wake your person to steal back the covers.
     
  7. Needs? What needs?
     
  8. You count your body as your head. The rest of you is an alien.
     
  9. Gut feeling? That’s just indigestion. You don’t listen to that even though it’s always right.
     
  10. No is not part of your vocabulary. 
    • What do you mean no is a complete sentence?
       
  11. Loving yourself has come to mean that you are selfish and that’s bad.
    • If you love everyone else really, really hard, even if it hurts you really, really badly, everyone will love you too (at least that’s what the television or mom or your 5th grade teacher told you).

 

Being a pleaser comes in MANY forms. So many, it would be a whole book (which, by the way, I’m definitely writing). I’m a pleaser in many contexts that I’m becoming aware of. I don’t speak my mind with everyone. I’m just starting to make my needs a priority and telling people about them. I’m just now getting around to asking for help and not being so sufferably self-reliant. 

It’s excruciatingly huge, this pleaser thing. The more I unwrap it, the freer I feel. I would love freedom for you too. I would love for you to be surrounded by the most loving people on the planet who can be with you and any emotion you have (i.e. when you get around to believing you have those). It’s possible. I’m living it and I never – not in my wildest dreams – believed it could be true. 

 

Reflection

Where in your life do you want to stop being a pleaser? Do you want someone to talk about it with who won’t judge? I don’t give advice. I show you your truth (and it’s beautiful, just like you). Schedule your free Pleasure Upgrade Session.

I love you fiercely,
Sophia

THE
FEEL YOUR BODY
JOURNEY

THE

FEEL YOUR BODY

JOURNEY

 

Feel, accept, trust, and love yourself!

You are in!

THE

FEEL YOUR BODY

JOURNEY

 

Feel, accept, trust, and love yourself!

Be in sisterhood now!

You are in!

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