This post was inspired by my ridiculously incredible male client with whom I’ve had the pleasure of coaching for the past 6 months. He printed off my DIY Guide to Being a Radical Pleasurist to remind himself of how he is one and where he needs guidance. He told me he is committed and excited about being a Radical Pleasurist. That got me thinking. Maybe others want to know what it takes to receive everything they’ve aspired toward in life. So the next series of emails will be about what it takes to be a Radical Pleasurist. Enjoy. But first, a story…
Radical Pleasurist has existed since 2015. It existed when I hated myself. In 2017, when I raged and abused my last boyfriend, Radical Pleasurist existed. I was teaching people how to be embodied, speak courageously, and have epic relationships, yet I was not experiencing any of it. I was a people-pleaser and ice queen. I needed help. I needed to stop making everyone else better while feeling miserable. I needed to stop fixing men and myself. I stopped focusing on the business of Radical Pleasurist and started focusing on loving myself and bringing pleasure into my life. I wasn’t walking my talk. I was ready to give up Radical Pleasurist until I could truly be one.
In a matter of months,
- I broke up with the boyfriend (also, the last time I called a man my boyfriend. That’s an esteemed title in my book and no one gets it without a deep mutual respect and commitment to doing the work it takes to live a magnificent life),
- started working with a therapist doing EMDR (an excellent mode of therapy for trauma),
- sat in Ayahuasca ceremony (she helped me release anger – a very wonderful story),
- started seeing and listening to men differently,
- experienced my final Solsara Immersion (a formative experience where I became aware of the addiction to finding a soul mate; where I met my future client, first Radical Pleasurist Ambassador, and future business partner and dear friend Heather; where I met one of the great loves of my life; and where I met my current epic meditation teacher David Sudar),
- hired my own dating and intimacy coach Gabrielle,
- learned Body Tracking and Feeling Messages through her (the most pivotal practices of my life in relation to men),
- met one of the greatest loves of my life,
- and started to have real friends that slowly formed my deeply loved community.
As 2018 began I was a changed woman. I loved myself like I had never loved myself before. I communicated courageously and was deeply embodied for the first time in many, many years. I had a handle on my inner critic. I felt unstoppable. Radical Pleasurist succeeded in unprecedented ways (funny how that works. When one aspect of life changes, all aspects change). My creativity was on fire. I listened to my intuition all the time. I felt powerful. I was truly a Radical Pleasurist. No longer an imposter. No longer faking it. I became what I was teaching others to be.
I sat down one day and wrote out a list. The ultimate list to being a Radical Pleasurist because now I knew. The signs, if you will, of being a Radical Pleasurist. I’m going to present them to you over a series of emails. It’s a checklist. Check in.
Are you living your life as a Radical Pleasurist?
Do you want to? I repeat: Do you want to?
If not, cool. I love you and bless you and honor you exactly as you are. You should probably unsubscribe, though. This life of pleasure I offer is a paradigm shift out of pain and suffering and if you’re not into it, focus on what you are into. I would take a moment and really check in. Question your beliefs about life and the world. It may be the most miraculous thing you ever do.
5 Signs you’re a Radical Pleasurist
You are dedicated to knowing yourself inside and out – all of you. The ugly, murderous parts of you, the sexy beast, and the kind, compassionate, generous, powerful human you are.
You are embodied. You are deeply connected to your body and everything that comes with that. Reason and logic are not king. You feel your physical sensations and your emotional states fully, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant, painful or uncomfortable, blissful or calm.
You trust yourself fully. You know trust and safety have nothing to do with other people. You have healed your anxious or avoidant attachment patterns. You are no longer operating as a traumatized child. You feel safe in your body and mind.
You are a master of your mind. You know that training your mind is the most important practice of your life.
You approach every person and situation in life with an open heart no matter what. Fear of abandonment, rejection, failure, success, or getting hurt don’t stop you from love. You choose love over fear. You make choices from love instead of fear.
Are you well on your way? Becoming a Radical Pleasurist is a process, a set of skills and practices that become you because it is within you already. It’s a process and it takes months to years. That’s why my coaching programs are six months, minimum. Think about it. It has taken decades (and lifetimes if you believe in that shit) to program this faulty set of lies into you. You think you’re going to get over your shit in a week? This is what I teach my community, my clients, and my friends. I live it. I model it. I guide humans on the path to it. I constantly check myself to make sure I haven’t strayed and when I stray, I know how to come back.
Are you ready for a guide back to yourself? Next week I share more signs. I hope you’re taking notes…
Are you ready to receive? Are you ready to say YES to a new paradigm of pleasure? A new set of beliefs about yourself and the world that are actually true? Book a consult. My schedule is open for May with limited slots. It doesn’t matter whether you become my client. You will have a completely different view after having a conversation with me.