What are you thinking?
All addictions begin with thought.
I thought about what I wanted to release – coffee, sugar, laziness – and realized what plagues me the most and causes me the most suffering are obsessive thoughts about men, sex, and relationships. So I can still keep coffee! Phew.
I don’t care who you are and what kind of relationship you are in – married, partnered, single, asexual, transgender, non-binary, etc – you obsess about something.
Obsession comes in the form of:
- control and manipulation of yourself and other people
- a broken record of the same thought, words, or story in your head
- needing validation all the time (being a pleaser)
- fantasizing about someone
The consequences of obsessiveness or thinking about something as a form of distracting yourself from the present (which may be painful or fearful) are:
- mental illness – chronic depression, bipolar, psychosis (at its extreme)
- physical illness – cancer, digestive disorders, allergies
- physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion from being a pleaser
- autoimmune disease – fibromyalgia, MS
- lack of joy and pleasure
- chronic dissatisfaction
- no sex drive
I’m not exaggerating. Over time, you will develop some form of illness with the origin being your thoughts. Any time you are using thoughts, fantasy, obsessiveness to suppress what you are feeling, you are in an addiction cycle. It becomes normal to you because it’s all you know. It’s all you see around you. It’s not normal. Pain and suffering are not normal. Joy and pleasure are normal, yet foreign to you.
Think of it this way: thoughts >>> stress/pain/suffering >>> physical manifestation in the body.
Commit to joy
Try an experiment today. Grab a piece of paper or your journal. For 15 minutes, sit in silence without any distractions. No TV, music, books, computer, or phone. Set a timer for 15 minutes. Close your eyes.
For 15 minutes, observe your thoughts. Just watch and listen as they pop up. You don’t have to do anything for this to happen, thoughts appear naturally. Watch them. Notice the content of your thoughts when you are not trying to do or change anything.
After 15 minutes, grab your journal and write every thought you remember seeing or hearing in your head. Keep writing until you cannot remember anymore. Write without stopping to read or edit anything. Complete sentences are not necessary. This is a free-flowing write.
Now look at what you wrote. How much of your thoughts are critical, obsessive, false, and not you?
I’ll give you a hint – any thought that is not peaceful, loving, at ease, or joyful is not a thought worth having and it’s not serving you (or anyone else) and it’s NOT YOU.
What kind of thoughts do you want to have?
How do you want to feel today and every day?
Commit just for today to let go of obsessive thoughts. Here’s a ridiculously simple practice. When unloving thoughts arise (your inner critics and any thought that is fearful),
Say out loud gently NO
That’s it. Just say “no”. Disrupt the thought pattern.
Instead think about how you are LOVE and JOY. Because you are. Assess how you feel when you remember and think that you are love. Do you feel happy? Do you feel pleasure and joy?
That’s the proof that your thoughts make a huge impact on how you see yourself and the world.
We love you fiercely,
P.S. We are offering a powerful, free, online community based, self-paced adventure back into your body. Would you like to learn more about the Feel Your Body Journey? Click the link below!