How do you feel in your body right now?
Caveat: most of my readers are white womxn (whether self-identifying or female-bodied) and so I am speaking to them (and you if you are racially white). If you are a womxn of color (Black and/or Brown), non-binary, or a man – you may benefit from this article as well. Notice your body sensations as you read. Read with an open heart and allow trauma to pass through you. Email me back with your answer to the above question.
Right now I feel calm in my body. I feel a bit of tension in my shoulders and a low grade fluttering in my belly. I feel chills moving throughout my body and a tingling in the back of my head. I can breathe easily at the moment. I notice my thoughts as they quickly arise and move from one thought to another.
A few minutes before, I was crying asking God for help. A few minutes before that, I was praying to my ancestors to be with me and to guide me toward Right Action. I felt them in the room because I felt familiar sensations in my body (energy coursing through my body). I cleared the room with prayer so that I could “hear” answers. I sat down to read A Course in Miracles (what I have been studying for 2+ years) and was reminded that to receive answers, I must ask. And then I must listen. Really listen beyond what I have known. Listen beyond my conditioning and that’s where it gets tricky because everything is conditioning, even so-called intuition. There are ways to re-program and reconnect with intuition that is more reliable than what you may think you know.
That’s what happens in trauma. There is a swift and unconscious dissociation from the body, your greatest and most reliable source of wisdom. The body becomes a landmine of fear. Intellect and cognition take over and decisions over time become conditioned and robotic. We are comprised of body and cognition and to only use one faculty is to be unwhole, to be blind, and to be unresourced. To be whole is to be in the body again and to know your own sensations and feelings and to be witness to all of it. To be witness to one’s own suffering without turning away. To sit with the discomfort of sensations and know that you will not die or be harmed. To sit with sensations is a profound ability and one that anyone can achieve again. This is why mindfulness practices have blown up over the years and why meditation continues to be the #1 practice for healing. (Meditation is the practice of seeing, feeling, noticing, and being with what is without trying to change, fix, numb, evade, dissociate, etc)
I have tools for you. Practices that return you safely to your body (called somatic therapy or somatic practices) so you feel whole and are able to sit with suffering so you could then feel everything; including compassion, joy, peace, and pleasure.
When you can feel everything without turning away, without numbing, without drugs/alcohol/work/sex/video games/consumerism/stuff/doing just to do something, then you can access your cognition/thoughts/logic/reason/intelligence more efficiently and with confidence.
When you open in this way, you see your limitations, not as weaknesses, but as skills to build. You see what you don’t know and that is an empowering position. You can learn. You’ll see, for example, that your vocabulary for sensations/emotions/wisdom is limited and then you could intentionally learn how to grow your communication skills.
When you have communication skills and an expanded vocabulary for your internal experiences, you can then build intimacy and connect with people truthfully, vulnerably, and deeply. You can then express your needs, your wants, and your boundaries without letting fear stop you. This is by far what all womxn/humans who come to me desire. They desire to speak the truth, to be loved, and to have mind-blowing relationships. You won’t stop being afraid of sensations, feelings, and communication of your needs. Fear/ego/inner critic is built into the human existence. You cannot make your inner critic go away. That’s a waste of time. You can hear the voice of your true self more clearly (and allow the inner critic to recede into the background) with the practices I teach you. You will become braver and see fear for what it is: nothing. Fear is the only thing that gets smaller as you approach it. You will see and feel that you are not threatened. Your well-being is not threatened as a white person when you look at yourself and see your limitations. It’s just information. It’s time to feel again and to put down your armor (intellect), your defensiveness, your guilt, and your shame. It’s time to face yourself, to forgive yourself, and to heal yourself. Only you can do this and I’m here to guide you.
So take the leap and feel your body right now. What do you feel?
I want to work with you to get you into your body, into your words, and into your bravery and resilience. Then there is a possibility of authentic relationships that are based on truth and service. Then there is the possibility of a just and peaceful world. Let’s start together.
I love you fierce,
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