Heather here with the first blog telling you some of my stories. Sophia and I are the faces of Radical Pleasurist and it’s time I show myself.
I’ve been single for nearly two years following 20 years of being either married (17 years) or in a relationship (3 years). So, yeah. I needed some time for myself to heal. Most importantly, I knew it was irresponsible of me to even consider entering into a romantic relationship without healing the deep distrust and lack of love I felt for myself.
It’s been a hell of a journey and I leaned in HARD. I had to be strategic though. I needed to spend my precious resources of time, energy and money wisely. The question I asked myself every time I was presented with a choice was, “Is this in my, or my daughter’s, highest good or for our health or happiness?” Unless the answer was a “HELL YES”, it was a no. I would not compromise. What made it past my qualifier? Healthy food. Lots and lots of yoga. Sound baths. Reiki. Four Solsara immersions. Audio books. Long epsom salt baths. Time with new friends. Women’s circles. Ecstatic dance. Sensual dance classes with Madam Steele. Participating in every Soiree, retreat and immersion Sophia has offered.
One of the most important and transformative experiences I have had in this time of rapid evolution has been that of giving and receiving platonic touch. The first time I saw a ‘cuddle puddle’ my immediate reaction was “what the FUCK is happening here? Can I hide?” I didn’t hide. One of my friends waved me over. I joined in, tentatively, sticking to the edges. I got a strong sense that eventually this wouldn’t be so uncomfortable for me.
Since that first time, I have become a pro. Recently, within just two weeks I joined a cuddle puddle at a retreat, attended a private snuggle party with about 12 people, had an afternoon snuggle with a cuddle buddy, joined in the Intimacy Soiree, and had two epic snuggle sessions with a new friend I met there. I even had to turn down an invitation for a snuggle because I was already snuggling someone. Seriously. It’s wild.
I didn’t realize how badly I craved touch. I thought the only way I could get it was in relationship, and until VERY recently, I had zero interest in exploring that option so I thought I was shit out of luck. Now that I know differently, I am excited to explore all the different ways I can give and receive touch.
You are never alone!
P.S. Did you download your DIY guide? Do that here!